Household 6 Signing In

I've been wanting to write on here for so long but I've been having a really hard time doing it. Writing about our lives right now would very much mean I'd have to acknowledge that this deployment is happening. We are two months in now and, of course, mentally I know it's happening. I can run FRG meetings, mail care packages, and talk about resiliency and how to handle those long days. But that's the Army wife in me. Taylor's wife and Liam and George's mom is having a much much much more difficult time acknowledging this year. Because while I can run an FRG meeting I have a much harder time telling my little boys that their Daddy won't be home for their birthdays or Christmas. I can mail care packages to my soldier but it's difficult including a whole lot personal in them. I run off of a "shopping list" of sorts of things he has requested or items that a typical soldier may want or need. And while I can talk to wives and families about resiliency...feeling resilient myself is a whole lot more challening. But the reality of the situation is....

He's Gone.

And he's not at NTC. He's not in the field. He's not in the building with the green roof. He's back in a war zone half way across the world. And reality is that when he got on that plane half of me went with him. And that hurts more than words can ever say.

But the good thing is...I AM AN ARMY WIFE. And that is the difference in surviving this or not. God made me an Army wife. He had a plan for me. He knows that I CAN handle this. That I may not feel resilient...but I AM resilient. I may not feel like I'll get through the next 10 months of this...but I WILL. I may not understand all the time how it's possible to keep doing what we are doing...but I KNOW that He knows what I can and cannot handle and I have complete FAITH in that knowledge.

And that is why I'm here writing this out. Because before I can move on to writing about all the little magical things that comprise my life surrounded by boys, I need to acknowledge several things beyond "this is happening."

I am an Army Wife....strong and resilient.

My soldier is an amazing person doing amazing things. He is making a difference in the world.

This is beyond difficult many days but I am not alone. I acknowledge that I have the Lord at my side helping me through this.

I am HH6 and I can not only handle this...I can excel at it. Just go ahead and watch me.