Proud

Being a mother, there are times when I can say that I'm proud of what I have instilled in these two little boys.

When I see their natural brotherly affection:



When they spontaneously pull out a board game and Liam teaches George how to play. Even better that they played the whole game correctly and cooperatively:



When Liam is genuinely happy for George to enjoy his birthday, saying over and over, "I'm glad he's enjoying his special day":



When they take turns on George's brand new ATV without prompting:



Each of them taking one loop around the yard and then switching off:



And especially when I hear Liam tell George that they playroom they were cleaning up wasn't done yet because he still needed to vacuum. And you know what? He pulled out the vacuum and got it done. I taught him that.

Being a parent is hard if you're doing it right. Being a parent during a deployment...well...there are no words. Trying to be both Mama and Daddy to these two little ones:



Trying to make 99% of the decisions on my own while still very heavily considering what Taylor would want. Because no matter where on this planet he his...he is still very much their Daddy and his opinions, ideals, and input very much counts.

And then to do all of this on top of all the crazy things going on without screwing up too much...well, that feeling of "I'm doing a great job" doesn't come too often lately between running around to tons of meetings, scrambling for dinners, having to say "I'm sorry, I can't play right now because I have to clean/do laundry/cook/deal with the phone/pay bills/whatever", and just a complete and serious lack of sleep. Most days I feel like I'm just swimming as hard as I can just to keep from drowning.

But I saw these little glimpses this week of hope that maybe I'm not always meeting my own high standards, but I'm doing okay. We're doing okay....these boys and I. Seeing the smiles on their faces during this very difficult time in our lives...









and knowing that I put those smiles there despite the sadness in their two little hearts...well...it tells me that we're gonna get through this. We're going to be okay. And we're going to be stronger for it. Team Basye is tough and we're proud and we're going to keep on keeping on until our favorite soldier...our rock...our one person that makes our house a home...returns.